| *furious* Names excluded but you know who you are and what you did |
[Jan. 11th, 2006|01:55 pm] |
Why yes, I can totally see how I have made a really bad charactor judgement on you. After all asking a grieving friend for money to help you continue running your business because you do not understand the concept of a budget is totally my fault. It is completely my fault that everytime someone offers you help that you do nothing but goof off. It is also apparently my fault that when someone offers to help you get a real job that it is not what you "want" and therefore you feel justified in not taking it. After all you also feel justified that all your friends are supposed to give you money to continue to pay for your power, food, gas, etc.. Considering they get to go to your place and they should have to pay for the opportunity.
I am so sorry that going to my mother's funeral was on the wrong side of town for you. Did I catch you right when you said that you had a 50$ and were unable to make it to the funeral on time because the tollroad didn't take 50's? So how is it then that you did not have enough money to buy gas to get home? After all everyone knows it only costs 3$ to get to this side of town.. The money wasn't yours... Right, so you actually pay back your debts now? That's a new one...
Oh right, sorry, its that whole concept of money thing. The thing that makes you forget how to budget money and therefore makes it ok for you to ask others to fix your own problems. Family, friends, its all the same as long as you can continue to pay for your habit er I mean business. After all I must owe you money for you driving all the way to my mother's funeral... I must owe it to you because of all the times you let me go to your place of business for free...Nevermind that I spent time doing things to help you that I could have spent elsewhere... Nevermind that I helped you promote for it. Nevermind that I gave you money for a lot of things over the time that I knew you. Nevermind that I took up for you when I knew you were in the wrong.. Interesting that I only knew you a year and yet I spent all sorts of money during that time specifically to help you because you were too "proud" to ask for help. Yet, for some odd reason you tended to ask me and you got it because um yeah, I was a "friend". I suppose that should read "sucker". Yeah, I should have seen the con. I have to give you this, charm certainly is in your favor. I thought I was being a good friend. I should have realized I was being an idiot. I wonder how much I actually helped pay for your habit instead of helping?
However, obviously since I spent the last month trying to save my mother's life and neglecting taking care of you... I must "owe" you. Please forgive me, I'll write more checks for you and continue to be at your beck and call... No really, I live to be your doormat..
Oh wait, that's right. I did not check my brain at the door. I did learn something from losing my mom. I learned that anyone callous enough to ask me while I am still grieving for money is in need of priority checking. I learned that many refer to them as vultures. However, for the record I inherited nothing but a mountain of debt. Thanks so much for being a "good" friend and asking me for money when I'm still paying off hospital bills from the rather costly care of a person who passes away from end stage liver disease caused by an auto-immune attack of their bile ducts.. My mistake, I should have realized YOU come first before my family. Right, how inconsiderate of me to not take YOUR feelings into account. I should just "tell" you when you're being a complete ass considering you have NO IDEA when that is. Again my mistake. Yep, I paid to help you out once again. Because you were in such "deseparate" need. Yeah, I admit it, I'm the idiot.
Please do go back to the place you came from and take all your guilt trips and bullshit with you. There was no simple misunderstanding and you need to stop telling people there was. I saw you for who you really were. I saw how you were in action. I've been watching you in action for a while. You cannot pretend to me, and its amazing that you thought you could. Like I said before, I don't need your excuses, I heard them. You've not been capable of telling me the truth yet so why should now be any different? I did not make a "bad charactor judgement", I made a judgement on what I could tolerate and your complete insensitivity to how _I_ am feeling is what led directly to you being cut off. You knew my parents were bankrupt and that I was paying for everything including medical bills with my OWN MONEY. You knew that I was directly responsible for the care of my mother. You never answered the damn phone but I at least left messages.
Before you give the excuse about your family member... I already found out how much time you "spend" helping the family member you claim needs you.. 3 hours every few weeks for a dying relative is not exactly what I would call a full-time investment, of course your charactor really shines through when you add in that your own family has to force you to go with threats of cutting you off.. Yeah that's a bang up charactor there. The kind of person you want to hang out with on a regular basis. Their own family has to MAKE them go and take care of their dying relation. Close relation at that... Yep, bang up job. So that story about how close you were with said relation was probably a lie right? Yeah thought so if you only spent 3 hours. Before you say work gets in the way, perhaps you should think about how you can do your work from ANY location anywhere in the city with just an internet connection and even without since all you have to do is send your finished product to the web... Yep, totally interfering with your chance to do your habit you mean. It has nothing to do with the business.
Now lets compare my entire month of going to the hospital and coming home really late then going straight to the hospital first thing in the morning every morning for a month on for size before you get into a "pissing contest" with me again. Let's compare the things I did to try and save my mother's life going above and beyond the call of duty.
You can complain and make excuses about how you needed to run your business to someone who has NOT seen how you work. You can complain to people who have not gotten to see exactly what sort of lies and bullshit you will come up with to keep something that you think is a "good" thing going... Forgive me, but I do not see how _I_ should be the one considering your feelings when you are the one asking ME for money. I also do not see how I should consider anyone else's "feelings" in this. I care about your significant other and we had our conversation. Once again you lied to me. Please don't use your significant other as your excuse and admit that YOU are the one who is upset. I doubt you're capable of admitting it but its not my problem. I did what I did because it was for MY mental health. If you have to make this all about you then please find someone else to whine to. I told you not to contact me, but you seem incapable of not trying to get the last word in. I will not respond back to you directly because I don't have the energy nor the wish. However if you want to continue to "bring it" then yeah. I'll start posting all the conversations we have had, I will post every single reciept I have for all the things that I have purchased for you. I will post the amounts of money that I loaned you during the time I knew you. You want to play "Let's be bad guys" I can play. The difference between me and you is this, I don't like lies. So yeah, you don't mind telling them. Pity you can't keep them straight.
Now I gave you the chance to walk away. I gave you the chance to leave it be. I gave you the chance to not have someone stroking your ego. You couldn't handle it. Considering your complete inablity to deal with confrontation in person you'd think that I had done you a favor. So you expect me to have "discussed" this with you in person? No thank you, like I said, I like having everything in writing or recorded for posterity.
What sort of an idiot do you think I am? Oh wait, I did loan you money so yeah I can see where you'd get the idea that I was that gullible.
I know that in person you would have tried to twist my words and take them out of context. I know that you would have tried various other tactics which at this point in my life I am not well capable of dealing with. That and of course there is the fact that words are unverifiable and you could say whatever you wished and then if I called you on it later you could claim you never said them. Or you could pretend that _I_ said them to you as you have claimed others have said things to you when you were the one actually saying it. So yes, I took the "easy" way out. I also took the SANE way out. Like I said before, I have more important things to do with my time, but since you want to push my hand and see how far it will go... Try me.
Perhaps you should be thinking about getting yourself some help and I mean real help. Perhaps you should be focusing on growing up rather then burying yourself further and further into your own lies. Other people might see the image of you that you want portrayed but I know the real you and it's not nearly as sweet nor as nice as you're pretending.
Wow, you even went so far as to deludedly claim that you have helped me when I needed help... When was that? You came over once when I was depressed but so did many of my other friends. You gamed with me, but last I checked that doesn't count as "helping" and as I recall I paid for gas. As a matter of fact, you only came over ONCE when I was depressed. That was the one time you could be considered "helping" me. The rest of my friends came over EVERYTIME I was depressed. We went to the beach when I was depressed etc. You claim it was gas etc... Yeah, good one since I was paying for it. Oh wait, I was selfishly wanting your attention. That's it.. Apparently, I'm such a needy person.. Odd how you expected me to be at your beck and call though. Hypocrite much?
When the going got rough you were no where to be found. See in my book that is called being a "fair weather friend". When you needed help moving, when you needed help with bills, when you needed help with gas etc.. Who was there? That would be me.
Nice try though. Your "good deeds" that you claim you did I can count on my hands. You get an D for effort but the final grade is still an F. Back off, this is the last time I warn you. |
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